it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
