I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
