Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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