Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize