The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
