im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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