I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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