But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
