I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
