DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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