I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
