i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize