The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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