I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
