He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
