"it" just moved
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
