No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
