I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
