I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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