I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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