perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
