They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
