The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
