stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
