ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
