worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
