The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
