Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
