I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
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