Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
