You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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