Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
