i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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