Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
