She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
