Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
