what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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