he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i now understand why vodka
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
