If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize