nut hugger
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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