dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
