Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
