I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
