...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
