just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
