Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
