i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
