WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
