Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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