You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
