come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How drunk are you?
Completed.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
