Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
