i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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