He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So many bounce houses so little time
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
