just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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