Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
