I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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