dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
