There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
