He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
