K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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