why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
