had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
