remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I want her autograph on my taint
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
