Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
