you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
