I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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