we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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