My hair reeks of homosexuality.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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