I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
