I love black thongs
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
