remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize