Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
