cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
