I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
