he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
