You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
