I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
