Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
