make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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